buzz muddleheaded: Sending Cupcakes for Birthdays to Preschool

cupcake 300x300 The Great Cupcake Debate Harrison is turning three in just a matter of days.

11 days,?to be exact.

Not that I?m counting with a lump in my throat that my baby, my tiny 8 lb baby, could possibly be three so quickly.

Last year I wrote about going allergy-free at his birthday party due to his little buddy having a peanut allergy and how it just wasn?t that big of a deal:

?For Harrison?s birthday, I did not want her to stress.? So it was an easy decision to make his party peanut-free.? We served pizza instead of chicken nuggets & I made the cupcakes at home.? The kids snacked on Goldfish instead of pretzels & jellybeans instead of M&Ms.? We?ve also made it a rule in our house that on playdates with her, Harrison is not to have peanut butter that day.? Not a sandwich, not on his waffles, nothing.? Overkill?? Maybe, but it?s no extra effort on my part to fix a cheese sandwich versus peanut butter & jelly before we head to the park.

This year, we still plan on going allergy-free at his party as the same little girl is invited.

But then I started thinking about his daycare class and sending cupcakes in celebration the Friday before he turns three.? How he?s not at an ?allergy-free school? and how I pack peanut butter and jelly sandwiches occasionally.? That got me thinking about the flip side of the coin and one momma in particular in his class.

A few months ago, one mom stopped me in the class to ask if I?d read the snack menu.? ?I?m sorry,? I smiled.? ?I honestly never look.?

?Well,? she huffed.? ?I wish I had that luxury but my kid has allergies.?? I nodded and told her that I understood, that I had a seafood allergy and it?s just such a pain.? I turned around to put Harry?s things in his cubby and make sure we were good to go for the day, when I caught ear of her giving the teachers hell about not warning her that another mother had brought in cupcakes the day before.? Her point was that her kid had an allergy and couldn?t eat the cupcakes.? The mom ranted and all I could think was ?Hey, lady.? You know this isn?t an allergy-free school.?

I am more than happy to go peanut-free for specific events.? But I chose a school that is not allergy-free and I don?t expect to be held to the requirements of one child in the classroom.? If we were at a nut-free school, then hell would freeze before I sent in cupcakes.? But we?re not and I?d like to send cupcakes with my kiddo and I?d like to not get dirty looks from one of the moms.

So what do you think?? Should we go allergy-free in a non-allergy-free school?? Do I slip a note into that boy?s cubby, letting her know that I?m bringing cupcakes on a Friday?? I?d like to handle this with grace and understanding, but my little guy has been talking non-stop about bringing ?happy cakes? for his class and I?d like to do that for him.

More from BA:

Why daycare is awesome.? Also, why it kind of sucks.

Get your kid to sleep in a strange place.

Working mom essentials.

My parenting philosophies.

Beth Anne writes words & takes pictures at Okay, BA! You can also find her on theTwitters & Facebook.